You think Bangkok is dangerous because of political unrest or bad Nicholas Cage films? Think again – what’s most likely to get you is the everyday assault course known as taking a walk on a Bangkok sidewalk.
Bangkok is a not a city built for pedestrians. While the infamous traffic gridlock has eased off since the arrival of the futuristic Skytrain and Underground public transport systems, Bangkok’s pavements remain an urban minefield that require you to be hyper alert lest you trip over, electrocute yourself or fall down a hole. This perpetual pedestrian obstacle course gets particularly interesting at night or if you’re drunk – or both. Here, then, are 12 ways to seriously injure yourself on a Bangkok sidewalk. There are more, but I’ve been in hospital recently…
Bag Flag
The Bag Flag is a thoughtful warning to pedestrians to not break their neck falling down the hole left by random collapsing paving stones.
Hidden Cable Of Electro Death
Almost invisible to the eye until you trip over it, this cunningly placed electrical cable powers a large advertising sign just out of shot. I wonder how many times the sign has been pulled over by pedestrians crashing to the pavement…
Clearly Obvious Cables Of Electro Death
On the other hand, this is one of Bangkok’s Low Flying Spaghetti Monsters Of Death – these cables hang down to about 4 feet off the ground, perfect to entrap unwitting passersby.
Hidden Bronze Nub Of Toe Stubbing
Looking straight ahead when walking down a Bangkok street? Be prepared for something hard and invisible to send you flying. This lump of metal is the remnant of some previous installation, but no one could be bothered to file it down to the ground.
The Sneaking Up Behind You Motorcycles On The Sidewalk
When you hit a wide, empty, blissfully flat expanse of pavement in Bangkok, you really need to start worrying. That’s because motorcylists (and this is the city of a million motorcycles) will also spot it and use it to escape the bumper to bumper traffic, with scant regard for traffic regulations or pedestrian safety. It’s not unusual to have a motorbike appear right beside you from behind, at speed, and not to have heard anything before it scared the crap out of you. Try not to jump in front of its wheels.
The Almost Impossible To See Support Wire
Some street signs in Bangkok are held up by steel hawser wires, triangulated from the sign to the sidewalk. The only problem is that the support wire is almost impossible to see until you walk straight into it. Ouch.
The Sharped Edged Steel Wire Cover
Sometimes the steel support wires are covered with a steel sheath to make them more visible – and provide a whole new set of sharp edges to hurt you.
The Thoughtful Cheesecutter Flag Bag
However, sometimes thoughtful shop owners will provide a different version of the Flag Bag to warn oncoming pedestrians about the steel support wire, probably because they’re tired of having to pick up hapless strollers from the ground after colliding with it. This one is particularly nasty, a real cheesecutter right slap in the middle of the sidewalk.
The Telephone Box That Stops Pedestrians Walking On The Sidewalk
Let’s put the telephone box in a place where it takes up the entire sidewalk so there’s nowhere to actually walk. Brilliant!
The Ankle Breaking Tree Sidewalk
To be fair, many cities have this problem, but Bangkok seems to have it with every tree that’s been planted
The Descent Into Hades Loose Manhole Cover
You remember when you were a kid and you wouldn’t walk on iron grates set into the sidewalk for fear it might give way underneath you and you’d plunge down the hole? (No? Oh. Just me then). Well, in Bangkok, if you step on a grate or a manhole, it really might just give way. Hapless Bangkokians regularly fall down poorly sealed manholes, so much so a special taskforce was set up a couple of years ago to try and stop the problem.
The Complete Absence Of Sidewalk
And finally, the biggest problem for walking the sidewalk in Bangkok is when there is no sidewalk. Sometimes it just collapses into a big hole and gets left there for people to pick their way around.
On the upside, walking in Bangkok is never dull…
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Ah, so true. These pictures could have been taken on virtually an 50-meter stretch of sidewalk in Bangkok.
In part two you could cover: low-hanging storefront sun screens, drainage spouts that empties directly on sidewalk, restaurants on the sidewalk (which includes some multitudinous hazards as tripping on tables, bumping into hot stoves, or–heaven forbid–knocking over the giant boiling pot of broth). The possibilities are endless!
Ha ha! Yep, this one could run and run…
The telephone booth put in to take up as much space as possible are everywhere. All of these bring back memories of Bangkok. I recall many times when I tripped over random objects left there when they took a sign down or didn’t get the one paver on the whole sidewalk level. Like Rikker said those photos could be on a 50 meter stretch any where in Krung Thep!
This is brilliant! I’m forwarding the link to everyone I know who can’t understand how I tripped on a Chiang Mai sidewalk and got a black eye. (The locals just assumed I’d been riding a motorscooter.)
Some people might not have found the possibility of getting injured perhaps quite seriously very funny but your writing style really makes this post. I literally was laughing as i read these to my work mates!! Thank you sir
Perhaps the last obstacle could be a picture of a Thai person walking right at you. There’s also the slow walking.
Very true Allison. Always have to watch out for amblin’ Thais…
Thanks for the great read! Yesterday, standing at a bus stop talking to a friend and obviously not paying attention as to the placement of my feet, I fell into one of the said holes on the streets of BKK. The danger is imminent and almost unavoidable. Someone should do a survey of BKKers and travelers alike who have experienced the wonders of the BKK sidewalks. I predict interesting results . . .